Here’s a quick WIP:  A Paint Tool Sai doodle (no ref pic, just messin’ around) before I get into some serious TL;DR.

I didn’t go to art school.  I was accepted to several – Rhode Island School of Design, Ringling, Montserrat, etc. – but as the time grew nearer I chickened out and kinda lost it.

Art had been my identity all throughout my school years.  What would I do if I pursued it and failed? I was used to being a big fish in a small pond when it came to drawing, but could I handle being the worst artist in the room at a major art college?

My 18-year-old self decided that, no, I couldn’t. And after a three-day nervous breakdown I made my decision:  I’d go pursue a normal degree at a normal college and that was that.

I never really stopped drawing, no, but I stopped trying and I stopped challenging myself.  I dabbled in new mediums from time to time, but never really bothered to learn them properly and hence, I stagnated.  I don’t think I finished a thing in at least a five year span outside of the occasional digital doodle.

And then I had my first adult relationship.  Unfortunately, this relationship was with an emotional abuser who was also a part of every other facet of my life (school, job, he even lived in the same neighborhood).  There was no escaping this man –  and his constant back and forth with me took a toll on my emotional and my physical health.

 
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Art?  There was no time for it.

For nearly three years I was in a downward spiral.  I’d dropped to almost 90 pounds from the stress.

Eventually, I dug myself out of that abyss.  I cut the negative people out of my life, removed myself from the toxic environment, and avoided any further interactions with the people affiliated or otherwise involved.  I, for all intents and purposes, had to become a self-imposed social outcast but it’s likely what saved my life.

And as I crawled out from the darkness, there was art. In a strange serendipitous development, I found myself in a paid art position at my new job.  I was now actively challenging myself, trying out crazy new mediums, and improving different skills every day.

Who’d have thought?

I used to think that if I wasn’t a successful artist at 22 that I should just give it up, but from watching my own journey (and the journeys of others) I’ve realized that it’s never too late. There is no age on art.  There is no right or wrong path to take.

Just looking at how I’ve improved over the last year is proof enough of this for me.

Well, anyway, I just felt like sharing.